January 24, 2021   9:22am

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Cindy Talks: A Swift Kick in the …

Sometimes we need a little (not so sweet) love from our friends to push us forward. Our “Whats Next?” Cindy opens yet another door …

One year ago I set a personal goal to get healthy and fit — with a “free pass” on certain other goals because I knew it would take a lot of physical and emotional energy to succeed. (I’ve struggled with my weight most of my adult life…) I switched into cruise control mode at work, got myself to the gym and stopped eating carbs.

And I did it. I succeeded in changing my eating and exercise habits. I dropped a ton of weight and have the cholesterol levels and lean body mass to prove it. I’ve paused and celebrated (none of us do this enough) and even bought myself some new clothes.

Now, it’s time for my next challenge. Generally, I know this involves putting myself “out there,” taking risks, embracing the world. Specifically, it means being a better networker, continuing my women advocacy passion, considering my professional options.

Ready, set, go. Right? Apparently not. An otherwise competent woman, I’ve been unable to get started for several months now. Excuses abound. Obstacles are everywhere. There is never enough time. I recognize this pattern. This is “old” me during periods of transition – standing in the doorway looking out at the world with a suitcase full of insecurity in each hand.

But here is the big and wonderful difference from where my head was a few years ago. Instead of lapsing into inertia, I am reaching out to other women for inspiration. Women who will give me a swift kick in the butt. Women who will say ” Cindy, you know I love you but this is not OK. You can so do this. So what are you going to do about it? Today? Tomorrow? The next day? ”

Part of me believes I should be big enough to do this on my own. But more of me feels really good that there are women I can turn to for impetus. As a group, we are a powerful demographic. As individuals, we have experience and humor and perspective and tons of energy. With so much potential, shame on us if we can’t help each other mobilize. We need not only to be there for each other with unconditional love but also with tough love.

My trainer suggested I train for an event now that I’m fit. She recently emailed me a link so I could register for a 4 mile run. Her message read: “I believe you can sign up for it online. LOL. Do it. Now. Today. LOL.”

Tough love plus a swift kick in the butt did the job. I’m running the race in a few weeks…

Tough love plus a swift kick in the butt also pushed me to finally pick up the phone and call a senior woman in microfinance. I’m meeting her for coffee next week….

Snoety symbol
Susan says: February 13th, 2008 at 7:05 pm

I love this post … as someone who gives a lot of kicks, but shies from taking them — trick I think is how to make sure you hear and are heard.

Janet says: March 1st, 2008 at 2:17 pm


Which race, where and when so we can cheer you on! You go girl!!! You inspired me to get my Gynecologist to do a 45 mile MS Bike Ride with me this year….she needed a good “kick in the butt,” thanks for reminding me I needed to do that for her.


cindy says: March 3rd, 2008 at 9:34 am

I love that we have both sides of “butt kicking” represented in Susan and Janet’s comments. Susan acknowledges being better at giving swift kicks while Janet appreciated the reminder that it can be good to give another woman a swift kick.

Susan’s point about hearing and being heard is also important. Not only is it about give tough love, but also about teaching each other to hear this as motivating not criticizing. It comes with the territory as “chicks” and we need to outgrow it already…

rgj1114@aol.com says: April 17th, 2008 at 7:48 pm

Hi Cindy,
I say Amen to this posting. It is inspirtational.

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