January 22, 2021   2:31am

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Francine Talks: Online Dating: Hear that voice (his outer; your inner)!

Francine our “Family” experts says: Don’t rush to meet that guy in person and other worthwhile tips …

Wait! Don’t meet until you talk on the phone.
Save yourself a lot of time and frustration. Even if the emails sound good, hear his voice before you meet. Set up a phone conversation. You call him — from a number on which you can’t be called back. If two minutes in, you can’t stand him, make an excuse — “My hair’s on fire!”– and hang up. If after 20 minutes, you feel no connection and he wants to meet, Say: “You sound really nice, but I just don’t feel a connection and I’ve learned to trust my gut on this.” If he sounds halfway nice, take a chance and have coffee with him. Lots of men don’t give good phone, but they give good … well, you know.

Doing that first date.
Even if he sounds great, keep your expectations realistic. It could all dissolve with one glance. If the date is awful, or if its wonderful, you know what to do. However, with that great middle ground of ambivalence, well, I say, give him another chance. He may be nervous, and you may be sending out mixed vibes which make him even more nervous. On a second date, when he knows you want to go out with him, well, some men really flower!

Snoety symbol
Barbara Katz says: March 26th, 2008 at 12:55 pm

Sounds like good advice.

Susan says: April 14th, 2008 at 11:55 am

Which website has the most educated men–where have you found the fewest losers–for a friend who needs to know

Barbara Katz says: April 14th, 2008 at 1:10 pm

Susan –
That’s a great question. I don’t know the answer but would like to know also. Hope you get an answer.

Francine Russo says: April 14th, 2008 at 8:51 pm

The only dating site I know that caters to well-educated people is The Right Stuff. J-Date, I’m told, has quite a few. Nerve.com, I hear, caters to smart, artistic types. However, generally, the bigger the site, the more of every kind of person they will have. A trial membership and a targeted computer search should tell you a lot. Recently, a flirtatious 60-year-old–well-educated–told me he’d met a lot of smart, artistic women on Craig’s List. But he seemed entirely too happy. So maybe there weren’t many men. But that one’s free to check out.

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