May 18, 2021   1:53am

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Francine Talks: Break-Up #3: You-did-everything-right-you-gave-him-space-and-he-left-anyway

You may have already read snoety’s, break-up #1 and break-up #2. But here’s why their author (snoety advisor) Francine, thinks the you-did-everything-right, you-gave-him-space-and-he-left-anyway break-up is the hardest …

He Left Anyway

In some ways, of all the break-ups, this one’s the hardest. You’ve invested everything. You worked on it in therapy and curbed your less-constructive impulses. You’ve given the relationship every chance to work. And he still left. Goddamn it, this hurts.

On the other hand … yes, there is another hand. You have nothing to reproach yourself for. There’s none of that “if only I’d done X or not done Y.” Just don’t make the mistake of thinking next time you’ll invest yourself less, not let yourself care so much. The hard truth? Only by taking the risk can you ever find out whether it can work.

The good news? Your next relationship is likely to benefit from all the things you learned to do right.

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